MIL

i grew up in a close-knit family and surrounded by unconditional love plus strong family bonding, therefore i always think we should be filial to our parents & ILs and take good care of them when they are at their ripe old age. however, in my case, i have totally given up. now the relationship has turned sour, i sincerely feel bad about it. i certainly agree that DIL can never be like own daughter, vice versa, i cant possibly love MIL like my own mom too, but ... pls ... at least ... at least be more fair to me can?

after months of struggling, i realized, the root cause of my MIL problem is often hidden deep in her unconscious. in her eyes, there is nothing wrong with her behaviour. it is all about ME. one important thing that i only realized after spoken to a close friend, she might be feeling like i have stolen her son!! therefore she unconsciously had repeatedly testing my hubby's "loyalty", forcing him to choose between her way of doing things and mine. poor hubby is certainly set up to fail, cos when he points out MIL's mistake, MIL would think he is siding me, but in fact he is prob only telling the truth. worse still when i m doing the same thing by repeatedly asking him to choose between me and his mom's method.

sometimes after argument, when i m left alone, i would feel guilty and blame myself for being too petty over those small little little things. cant i just ignore all her "unconstructive" remarks? cant i just close one eye when she's being "mean" and sarcastic? or sometimes when i m asked to do unreasonable things, cant i just walk away if i dont feel like doing it?

dont think i m talented in all these trivial matters. i m sure my caliber is designed for something more important and not this kind of family soap drama. have done my very best to accept, endure plus tolerate, but too bad, it just didnt work out cos she is neither a considerate nor an understanding one. i dont mind having a naggy MIL, but not one who is always forcing me to follow her way of doing things without compromising and give & take.

i sincerely think she should redefine her relationship with dear hubby, as well as make room for a new relationship with me. she is obviously trying to train me in her family custom, recipes as well as practices in baby care. if i still stick to my own way of doing things and my own method, then i m being selfish and unreasonable. enough is enough. and pls ... stop gossiping behind my back, in front of hubby's siblings, our other relatives, her many many friends and my maid ... if she wants to vent about me, pls do not twist/exaggerate the story and say something untrue. i m sure she would never mention to others that i have tried to compromise and make tones of suggestions to just make things work.

episodes keep rolling everyday while we were living together. how to be a filial DIL? i also dont know ...